


Where Your Strength Lies

by dedougal



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-05
Updated: 2011-04-05
Packaged: 2017-10-17 15:16:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/178203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dedougal/pseuds/dedougal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is invited to take part in Strictly Come Dancing after the series ends. Jared is supportive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Your Strength Lies

Jared didn’t quite expect the phone call from Jensen to tell him he’d arrived back in LA. Nor did he expect the call from the bar later to tell him about the bizarre drink Chris had apparently ordered for Jensen. He wasn’t expecting the calls over the next few days about the random stuff Jensen was getting up to. It wasn’t that he minded them. Quite the opposite. It was hard to think that he wouldn’t be hanging around with his friend everyday on set after all. It was nice that Jensen seemed intent on keeping him in his life.

Jared’s routine hadn’t changed much. He still trotted the familiar Vancouver neighbourhood streets with his dogs and drank the same coffee from the same store. He was still working with a lot of the same people and the filming locations weren’t a million miles away from the ones they’d shared during the show. The only thing missing was Jensen, really. And he was always on the phone anyway.

So there was nothing different about the way that he picked up the phone that Wednesday evening. “Hey, man. I was just thinking Chinese or Pizza. What do you reckon?”

“Pizza. Definitely.” Jensen’s voice sounded a little strained but Jared didn’t really know how to deal with that.

“But I only need to order one and they won’t let me get half pepperoni and half mushroom.” Jared kept his voice light. “It’s not like I can steal half of yours anymore.”

“No. Listen. I got an offer today.” Jensen did not sound happy about that. “Something a little interesting but not exactly... It’s in England.”

“Yeah? Sounds exciting.” Jared suppressed the odd feeling in his stomach. Jensen would be much further away then and wouldn’t phone him to tell him shit about the odd shaped doughnut he’d had or whatever. Not that something like that would bother him. “Did you get the theatre job you were thinking about?”

“It’s... So there’s a role in Streetcar come January that I think would be amazing. And they still want me to audition and I’m going for it. But this is... You know that dance show?” Jensen’s voice fades off into a near whisper near the end after all his stuttering and hesitation.

“What dance show?” He thought about it. It wasn’t like they had much time to keep up with TV and most of the time they just watched sports.

“The one with... So this there’s dance show where they have dancers teach celebrities how to dance. Dancing With the Stars?” Jensen sounded rather a little more irritated.

“I’d be an idiot not to know about that.” Jared snapped back. Then he got the idea. “Oh, fuck.”

“There’s a British version.” Jared can just imagine Jensen rubbing his hands through his hair in frustration. “And my agent told his friend that I was coming over to do this play – which I haven’t got – and they phoned up and offered me it.”

“And what did you say?” Jared isn’t quite sure why Jensen is freaking out.

“That I’d think about it. And it would be great for the play. And totally profile raising in the UK. Which could be good.” Jensen still sounded hesitant and... was he scared?

“That Texas boy becoming a little bit of an Anglophile?” Jared teased. “I think you should do it, man. Holiday in England, learn a new skill. Where’s the bad?” He was serious now. Then he realised what else was missing. “Why are you phoning me about this? What did Dani say?”

“She said that she was a little pissed that being engaged apparently didn’t mean getting married to me. And that if I went to London, maybe we should...” Jensen trailed off as Jared wished he was a few thousand miles closer. Close enough to drag Jensen out to a bar and make him realise that Dani wasn’t the only person who loved him.

Jared decided not to examine that thought too closely. “Maybe it’s for the best. A break. See if you really do want to get married. I know you, dude. You want it to be perfect forever. Such a romantic.”

“Yeah. Maybe. So you think I should do it?” Jensen was still quiet and down.

Jared didn’t really know how else to cheer him up. So he went with enthusiasm and full on Padalecki positivity. “Sounds amazing!”

 

He hadn’t expected to receive a call from London. The phone woke him up and he didn’t think he sounded conscious as he muttered his greeting.

Jensen, on the other hand, was all too awake. “This was the best idea, man. I’ve rented this apartment – flat – and it’s got this amazing view. I can see, like, everything.”

“That’s great,” Jared said, dragging himself upright. He glanced at the clock and suppressed a moan. He’d only gotten to bed three hours ago. “So when are you meeting your new partner?”

“There’s some meetings with the producers and a photo shoot if all goes well on – what day is it? Friday. But I’ve got time to explore.” Jensen sounded happier than Jared had heard in a while. He guessed the excitement was finally shaking him out of his funk.

Jared knuckled the sleep out of his eyes. “What are you going to do first?”

 

Jensen’s next call came slightly later in the day. Jared was kicking back in his trailer. It was quite nice not to be one of the two main leads. Ensemble casts made for much more free time, like he remembered back on Gilmore Girls. On the other hand, it had taken Supernatural for him to really appreciate it.

“Hey Jen,” Jared hummed around a mouthful of gummi worms.

“What are you eating now?” asked the slightly exasperated tones of Jensen. “Candy. Something to rot your teeth.”

“My teeth are fine.” Jared swallowed and clacked them together to let Jensen hear just how fine they were. “All ready to eat you up.”

There was a choked off laugh from Jensen. “So I met my new partner today.”

“Is she anything like me?” Jared laughed. It felt weird not being the one Jensen was going to work with every day.

“She’s tiny. Like I’m afraid to step too near in case I crush her. But her temper! She’s got this voice that comes from her boots.” Jensen stopped talking. “Pretty much the opposite of you, man. And the shirt they made me wear. There were all these sequins.” Jared could hear the horror.

Jared laughed. He couldn’t help it. “Good to see you getting in touch with your feminine side. Although it’ll never be as questionable as those stupid brick pants.”

“Those will never go away, will they?” Jensen sounded as if he had his hand over his eyes in shame. Jared wondered why he could predict what Jensen was doing just from the way he sounded on a phone.

“Never.” Jared looked out onto the lot to see a PA marching purposefully towards his trailer. “They’re calling me back to set. It’s been too long since I’ve seen you, man. I’m expecting pictures, you hear.”

“Pictures. Sure. And you’ll forward them to everyone you know for laughs.” Jensen sounded resigned.

“Just Chad. And Misha. They know all the best places to really get them out there.” Jared teased as the banging began on his door. “Catch you later.”

He checked his email when he got home. There was an email with some pictures attached. It also contained a death threat. Jared found himself pressing his fingers to the screen before he slammed the top down on his laptop. He didn’t forward the pictures anywhere either.

 

“Her taste in music is abominable.” Jensen didn’t even bother with preliminaries like “hello” any more. This dancing thing was certainly starting to stress him a little.

“Yours sucks too,” Jared felt honour-bound to remind him. “Dean had more taste. At least no country.”

“And there’s cameras following us. And I have to wear a microphone. And the steps are really hard,” Jensen whined. Jared let him. There were more complaints about weather and traffic and people who tutted. Jared just listened, making approving, agreeing noises.

“Do you want to quit?” Jared finally asked, after Jensen ran down.

Jensen was silent for a long moment. “Not at all,” he admitted. “I guess I just miss home a bit. And today just... nothing went right.”

“It’ll get better,” Jared assured him. “Practise makes perfect.”

“Padalecki positivity to the rescue!” Jensen joked back. “But thanks. I don’t know that I could do this without my Jared cheering squad.”

“I think we’ll find you were the cheerleader,” Jared reminded him, feeling a warm glow spread throughout him.

 

The night of the first show, Jared didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t watch it live and he didn’t know if Jensen would want him to. He knew the fangirls out there would post videos as soon as they could but even then it wouldn’t be enough. In the end, he kept refreshing the show website to read scores and the comments of the judges. He wasn’t sure whether the score was good or bad. It wasn’t the lowest by a large margin.

He was glad to receive Jensen’s call though, not long after the results were posted. “I got through!”

“I know,” Jared was too happy to worry that this made him look a little bit of a stalker. “Did it go okay?”

“She says it did. But it was the weirdest experience. Did you know like seven or eight million people watch this show? And it’s live!” Jensen was so excited that Jared could imagine him bouncing. “But when I was actually out there, it felt good. Like nailing a scene first take.”

“I can’t wait to see it.” Jared was beyond delighted at the idea that Jensen was feeling good about this. “What are you doing now?”

Jensen choked back a laugh. “I’m actually naked, dude.”

“The fuck?” Jared did not need that mental image. He tried to suppress it but Jensen with his toned chest and those muscular thighs kept intruding on his mind.

“Yeah. I need to shower. But I wanted to call you the minute they let me out of costume.” Jensen didn’t sound unrepentant at all. “But I’m going to sleep all day tomorrow and then I’m back in training on Monday. Training, she calls it!”

“Go, you adrenaline crazed freak. Go shower. And phone your mother.” Jared shouted down the phone.

Jensen groaned. “I hadn’t thought. Can’t do that naked.”

“Hey, you’re up on Youtube already.” Jared clicked the link in front of him urgently. He heard Jensen start to move around as he watched it. “Fuck man, you’re good. What dance is this again?”

“It’s a waltz, dumbass. You know what a waltz is.” Jensen sounded slightly calmer now. “You think it’s okay?”

“You’re just... graceful.” Jared couldn’t keep his eyes off his friend as he glided around the floor. “And the monkey suit looks better than the sequins.”

“Apparently I’m in black mesh next week,” Jensen’s tone was dry. “Because dancing isn’t gay enough.”

 

It turned out that there was this interview show that went out during the week. Thankfully Jensen’s fangirls were loyal to the core and the clips popped up pretty quickly. Not that Jared was keeping track, at all. It just became habit to check. And maybe lurk around the forums on the website during his break. Not that he posted anything. He just read a few posts. Jensen seemed to be pretty popular.

He was watching one of the interviews late at night. Sometimes he still found the English accent a little hard to understand but even he could tell that the woman speaking to Jensen was a little flustered. He answered his ringing phone without checking the Caller ID. Of course it was Jensen.

“Dude, are you watching me?” Jensen asked. Jared fumbled for the pause button.

“Just keeping track. Need to know what you’ve been saying about me and all.” Jared tried to keep his voice calm.

“You better not have been jerking off, neither.” Being as Jared had been sitting with his hand tucked inside the waistband of his sweatpants but no further he felt justified in ignoring this comment. Jensen had nothing to do with his masturbatory habits.

“How’s training this week?” He changed the subject.

“Good. She’s picked this real traditional piece of music for the salsa and I’m getting into it.” Jensen went off into a discussion involving technical words Jared knew he had no chance of understanding. Jensen took a deep breath at the end of his enthusiastic explanation.

“What else is up?” Jared knew something was bothering Jensen.

“They keep asking about Dani. They want to know when she’s coming to see me. They want to interview her.” Jensen’s voice took on a dull tone that Jared recognised as the one Jensen used when he was really working towards being upset.

“Fuck them,” Jared said, a little angry himself at the absent Danneel. If she hadn’t been all funny, he wouldn’t have a friend who was on the other side of an ocean rather than somewhere he could get to more easily. “Aren’t your parents coming to see you?”

“Next week. For the audition.” Jensen still sounded too subdued.

“See if they’ll be interviewed. You concentrate on doing what you’re doing and let the whole reality bullshit deal with itself.” Jared nodded sagely. This felt right. “And remember – you can come home if you want to.”

“Where’s home, Jared?” Jensen asked, in a soft, low voice.

 

The salsa was amazing too. Jared wondered how the hell Jensen managed to move his hips in such a smooth way without looking totally awkward. Jared knew always looked ridiculous when trying any moves. He had enthusiasm. Jensen had control. He got through no problem.

 

He watched the interview with Jensen’s parents. They played the full Texas charm and had the host doing everything but patting them on the cheeks with adoration. They were in the front row of the show and stood up to clap after Jensen had danced. Back to ballroom with a quickstep. Jensen still wasn’t leading the scores but the cheers sounded genuine. Jared found himself wishing he could vote.

 

The next phone call went like this.

“I fucked it up, man.” Still without any preliminaries.

Jared knew that he had to get up in two hours anyway and tried hard not to be annoyed. “The dancing?”

“The audition.” Jensen sounded pissed.

“I’m sure you didn’t.” Jared knew he probably hadn’t done anything of the sort. He knew what Jensen could do when acting.

“I shouldn’t act. I suck.” Angry at himself.

“You don’t.” Jared didn’t like the way Jensen beat himself up about stuff.

“There’s a call coming through. Speak to you later.” Jared kept his cell in his hand until the alarm went off. He never did get back to sleep.

 

The text saying “I got it” came through while he was waiting for one of his co-stars to hurry the hell out of her trailer and get to the set. He never remembered this problem with Jensen. Then again, they normally hung around each other so there was very little waiting. He texted back saying “knew you would.”

 

Jared wasn’t entirely taken aback when his new show was cancelled after thirteen episodes. He was surprised when Jensen picked up his phone straight away. “I thought I’d get your voicemail,” Jared blurted before he knew what he was saying.

“On a break. A short one. What’s up?” Jensen sounded out of breath and Jared thought he could hear him slurping water in the background.

“My show got canned.” Jared tried not to let his odd mix of bitterness and relief show.

Jensen was immediately consoling. “That sucks. But you were the best thing in it.”

“Dude, there’s only been one episode aired. How can you tell?” Jared laughed at his friend’s automatic support.

“Doesn’t matter. What you going to do now?” Jared heard a woman’s voice in the background yelling. “In a minute.”

“I’m thinking vacation. Go back to your paso or else she’ll get you.” Jared’s brain was already ticking over. He’d seen how other people had visitors surprise them during training.

“She’s evil. Evil incarnate. And we should know, right?” Jensen’s voice had dropped to a whisper. Jared distinctly heard a slap land. “But she’s amazing.” His voice was louder now.

“Bye, Jensen.” Jared hung up to the sound of Jensen laughing. It was nice to hear for a change.

 

The next phone call wasn’t quite so happy. Jensen sounded on the edge of tears. “She sent it through the post. And everyone is going to know. Everyone.”

“Jensen – tell me what happened.” Jared waved the makeup artist away. This was the last day he needed to be on set and he knew they were eager to get finished. On the other hand, he’d been early to set. “Give me five minutes.” They shuffled out of the trailer leaving him alone.

“The cameras. They were doing a ‘day in the life’ VT for the weeknight show,” Jensen started. Jared wasn’t quite sure how this had led to his friend being in tears but he let him talk. “And I let them in and gave them the tour. Then grabbed my mail and I was opening it, chatting and offering coffee and I got all excited cause Dani had sent me this parcel. And they’re filming the whole time.”

“What did Dani send you?” Jared asked, a void opening in the pit of his stomach.

“She sent me her ring. Just like that.” Jensen sounded broken. “And the note. She’s met someone else.” His voice trailed off into an uncomfortable silence.

“It’ll be okay. It was probably for the best.” Jared cursed the platitudes he found himself saying. “I just wish you weren’t all the way over there. On your own.”

“I’m all alone. Really.” Jensen’s voice was quiet and without any expression. “Anyway. Thanks for listening. I’ve got the rumba this week and it’s kicking my ass so I’m going to go dance till my brains fall out.” He hung up without waiting for Jared to reply.

Jared slammed his hand into the wall of the trailer. Hard. He wished it was Danneel’s face.

 

He had to be sneaky next time Jensen called. “I’m on my way to the airport.”

Jensen was a little out of breath. “Just calling to say thanks for listening to me. The others all try and give me advice. You just listen. Anyway. Enough of sounding like a girl.”

“It’s not a problem. I always knew that someone as pretty as you couldn’t help being a little girly.” Jared grinned as he heard Jensen huff at the other end of the line. “Did they ask you about it?”

“They didn’t but some ass apparently told the tabloids. Or they found out. Anyway. There’s this whole thing about how my relationship with the Devil Woman actually caused the break up.” Jensen laughed so Jared knew that he was taking it with an unusual equanimity. “The tabloids make fangirls look sane, I swear.”

“All good though.” Jared was nearing the terminal now.

Jensen was all affable charm. “All good. Have a decent flight.”

 

Jared hated flying. He hated planes and he hated tiny seats and pre-packaged meals. And he hated jetlag. He was barely conscious when he answered the phone. The noise out of his mouth tried to be a hello.

Jensen was disgustingly awake. “Just wanted to check your flight went fine. I know how you hate it.”

Jared grumbled something about still being alive and went back to sleep. He only realised he’d spoken to Jensen when he checked the call log later.

 

His hotel delivered excellent room service and the shower had this fantastic water pressure and after around fourteen hours sleep Jared felt more awake again. It was time for the big surprise.

The production company knew he was coming so they made sure the cameras were filming as he arrived at the gym Jensen and his partner used for training. He met one of the PAs at the door and she took him straight to the dance studio.

All his attention in the past few days had been on getting here and suddenly he didn’t know what to do. He glanced through the glass of the door. Jensen was concentrating hard on some move. He stopped to grab a drink of water and Jared just couldn’t wait any longer.

He rapped his knuckles against the door and pushed it open. Jensen didn’t turn for the longest moment, obviously expecting it to be someone for his dance partner. Jared started sneaking across the floor. He didn’t get too far. Being as tall as he was made sneaking pretty nigh on impossible. Jensen spotted him in a mirror and sprayed the mouthful of water he’d just taken. Then he grinned impossibly wide and Jared found himself being grabbed in the biggest hug. He let his arms wrap around Jensen – something he’d not been able to do for far too long – and squeezed.

It was only after a moment that he realised Jensen’s shoulders were heaving up and down. He tried to pull back but Jensen just tugged him close again. He let him bury his emotion in Jared’s chest for a long moment. Then he leaned down. “Cameras, dude. Remember the cameras.”

Jensen pulled back and grabbed his water bottle again, taking a long draught to settle his nerves. Jared went over to Jensen’s dance partner and shook her hand. Jensen hadn’t been kidding. She really was tiny. He might have made a few jokes about it while Jensen mopped at his face with his t-shirt.

“Going to show me some of your moves then?” Jared attempted a hip swivel only to stop at the look of gleeful horror on Jensen’s face. “What?”

“My moves? We should teach you some moves.” Jensen looked quite ridiculously pleased with himself. He leaned down to whisper into her ear before telling Jared to get his hoodie off.

Then the most excruciating hour of Jared’s life began. He couldn’t do anything right – sometimes he couldn’t even tell his left foot from his right. After he’d let Jensen laugh for all too long, he called quits and sat to one side to watch them run through their routine. He stayed as they practised only leaving to bring back coffee at one point. The camera crew headed out before that.

Jensen sat next to him as he sipped at the coffee gratefully. “Not that it’s not great to see you, but why are you here, Jared?”

Jared shrugged. “I guess I had this free time and I didn’t like the idea of you being here on your own. Not after...”

“Not after Danneel decided to dump me transatlantically?” Jensen just held the coffee cup and stared at the black liquid.

“I’m going to do a few interviews for the show and for you. And I’m staying at a hotel. And I thought I’d explore London. Haven’t really had the chance to before. And I’ll stay out of your hair.” Jared wasn’t quite sure how to explain to his best friend that it was starting to hurt staying too far away from him.

“Why are you in a hotel? Don’t you want to stay with me?” Jensen sounded really down-hearted.

“I didn’t know if you’d want me. I didn’t want to impose.” Jared knocked his knee against Jensen’s.

Jensen grabbed his knee. “It’s never an imposition. I miss you just being there.” Jensen’s eyes widened as he realised what he’d said and the way in which it could be taken.

Jared realised that at least part of him was taking it that way – the way that suggested this was more than just two guys who were friends. “Guess I better check out of my hotel then.”

 

Jared realised that he’d missed living with Jensen. Living with Jensen in London was pretty much like living with Jensen in Vancouver except for the bit where they ate out more and he didn’t have to walk dogs. Even the weather was pretty much the same as in Vancouver.

Jensen was out all day. Since he was still in the competition he was training harder than before. Jared used the time to sleep late and then explore. After a few days he decided that he would join the gym Jensen trained at in order to keep up the exercise. When he told Jensen, he was surprised at the shocked stare he received.

“I thought you were only here for a week. Not that I want you to go, or anything.” Jensen looked a little scared when he said that.

Jared put down the bottle of water he was opening. “I’m here through Christmas. If you want.” He walked towards Jensen and put his hands on both of his shoulders to turn his face towards him. “I’m here until you don’t want me to be here. I’m not here because you need me.”

“Then why are you here?” Jensen looked really confused now.

“I’m here because I missed you.” Jared wasn’t sure how far he could push. He didn’t want to scare Jensen and he wasn’t quite sure that Jensen felt the way he did. In the end, he settled for pulling into a hug. “I want to support you and I thought that this was the best way.”

“By putting your life on hold?” Jensen still couldn’t just let it go. Jared hoped he understood that there was something more going on.

“I’m due a holiday,” was all Jared could say.

 

He knew that sitting on the sofa he’d watched on tiny videos online wasn’t any different to any of the other chat shows he’d been on. And he knew how to smile and flirt with the hostess just the same as in any other interview he’d done. But there was still something fun in being here. And he might have told the charming Claudia that.

A five minute segment of him chatting about Jensen and the stupid pranks he’d pulled on Supernatural and how he was awful without his coffee – which led to a VT of Jensen drinking way too many cups of coffee – seemed only good payment for Jensen letting him stay in his ‘flat’.

He had to phone Jensen afterwards to tell him how cool Claudia was but the call went to voicemail. Jensen stumbled into the apartment later that night and headed straight to bed. He was gone before Jared was up in the morning.

 

They had him seated in the front row of the audience on the Saturday. He quite enjoyed it, although the studio looked a lot smaller than it did on TV. They always did. Jensen had been at the studio all day practicing. It was becoming serious now – only five more weeks of the show to go and most of the weaker dancers had been whittled out. He recognised some of them sitting in the same row as him. Jared clapped politely through the other routines.

He didn’t hold back on the cheers for Jensen. There was something better about being in the audience, watching it live, hearing the comments of the judges and just being part of the audience. It reminded him of watching Jensen in ‘A Few Good Men’ but here the rest of the audience was as excited as he was. Jensen danced his American Smooth with more grace and poise than Jared could have imagined and he was beyond happy that Jensen ended up at the top of the scoreboard for the first time.

He received the text from Jensen just as he was about to head out and get the tube back to the flat. He headed back to security and found a PA waiting for him. The perky runner chatted incessantly on her headset as she led him along institutional corridors decorated in bland beiges and muted greens. His shoes squeaked on the linoleum flooring. Eventually she led him to a door with Jensen’s name on a piece of paper attached to it. She knocked.

Jensen opened the door in a towel and gestured Jared inside. The corridor was fairly busy with people in headsets and others in sequins. Jared ducked inside, automatically slumping to fit through the door. “Glamour of television, eh?”

Jensen gave him a look as if to say he should know better before he headed for a pile of his clothes. “I thought you might like to come out with me and a few of the guys. Just to the bar here.”

“I guessed you’d be exhausted.” Jared shrugged. Then he turned away to give Jensen the illusion of privacy as he dropped the towel and started to get dressed. Jared tried hard to avoid looking in the mirror that reflected Jensen’s body but couldn’t stop his eyes from sliding over. He felt a corresponding tightness in his jeans. Yup. Not just good friends.

“Never stopped us before. There’s this awesome pub round the corner from the flat that I have to take you to. They do a mean breakfast.” Jensen was quite unashamed about getting changed with Jared in the room. “But it’s become a tradition that the guys who don’t have to run home meet for a couple in the bar. You can turn around now.”

Jared shifted himself carefully around to see Jensen tugging his shirt sleeves into place. He looked a hell of a lot paler without the makeup and his freckles stood out more clearly. He was obviously tired but Jared understood the need to decompress a little after something so intense.

He hung back as Jensen was greeted with shouts and cheers as they entered the room. It was obvious that he’d made friends here. Jared was clapped heartily on the back as he was introduced and a bottle of beer made its way into his hand. Jensen was sipping at one of his own and being teased by an older guy about it not being proper beer. Jensen made some kind of comment about it still being alcoholic.

One drink turned into four or five, enough to give Jared a real buzz as they headed back to the flat. He’d ended up chatting about the differences between British and American TV programmes with some guy from a soap called Eastenders. He thought he may have made a vague promise to watch it. He wasn’t entirely sure he was serious though.

He might even have stumbled a little as he was getting in the cab with Jensen. Jensen wasn’t in much of a better state, although he was coherent when the driver asked for the address. And then congratulated him on getting through tonight. The driver then proceeded to tell Jensen exactly what the judges had said that was right and wrong.

Jensen leaned over to Jared. “This is just a London thing apparently. Although he’s making good points.”

Jared was also glad when Jensen dragged him to the corner of his street. There was a kebab shop there, which confounded Jared for a moment. He understood when Jensen handed him a polystyrene box containing fries covered in cheese. It tasted like manna from Heaven.

The flat was cold when they finally arrived. Jared flicked on the TV while Jensen ran to put the heating back on. Then they settled on either end of the sofa, in the same way they’d done after countless days of filming.

“This is nice,” Jared said, as Jensen handed him another open beer from the fridge.

Jensen looked at him for a long moment. “This feels like home.”

 

They slept until late in the morning. Jared stretched as he came into the living room lifting his arms until they nearly touched the ceiling. He scratched at the waistband of pyjama bottoms and headed for the kitchen area. Jensen was already there. He silently pushed a mug of coffee over to Jared and rubbed at his neck. Which Jared knew was Jensen code for “I’m feeling uncomfortable”.

Jensen’s phone rang as Jared leaned against the counter and took a long draught of the magical caffeinated beverage. He put the cup on the counter at Jensen’s yell of “what?”

Jensen’s monosyllabic responses to the rest of the call didn’t give him much of clue about what had shocked him so badly. He watched his friend pace back and forward, the hand not holding the phone running through his hair, twisting the short strands into spikes. Jensen’s expression was a combination of shock and anger. Not a good combination.

When the call ended, he slung the phone onto the counter beside Jared and swore profusely. When he ran down, Jared cautiously laid a hand on his shoulder. Jensen shrugged it off.

That was new. “What’s up?”

“I need to check something online. I’ll be back.” Jensen strode through to the living room where his laptop lay open and switched it on. Jared picked up the coffee cup and drank deeply. Then he heard his ringtone from the guest bedroom. He headed through to pick it up.

It was his agent. On a Sunday morning? Or a very late Saturday night? Jared gave up trying to work out the time difference. “Yup?”

“There’s been a story in the British press about you and Jensen. Living together.” His agent didn’t sound disgusted, just a little phased.

“So?” Jared wondered what this had to do with his agent. And why there was a story about it.

“So you are? Living with him?” His agent seemed to need clarification on this point.

“I am currently residing within Jensen’s apartment in London, yes. Much like he used to live with me in Vancouver.” Jared started to get a little angry. “What else is this story saying?”

“That you and Jensen are... more than roommates.” His agent continued to press for details. “Because if you are, I can help you control the story.”

Jared pressed his hand to his face. It was too early in the morning. He took a deep breath. “We’re not. There’s separate bedrooms and everything. But this could harm Jensen, right? So what do I need to do to help him?”

“I’m your agent. Shouldn’t I be worried about you?” Jared heard the unasked question in his agent’s voice.

“I’m going to talk to Jensen. These tabloids print all kinds of rubbish. They’ve had Jensen sleeping with just about everyone in London.” Jared decided to change the subject. “Any luck on finding me parts over here?”

“Ridley Scott’s auditioning for his follow up to Robin Hood. I’m talking to people. And there’s some television shows coming up too.” His agent stopped talking business. “It’s three in the morning. I wanted to check you were aware and I’ll drop you an email tomorrow with details.”

“Hey! Could you get me on Doctor Who? Cause that would be awesome!” Jared let the groan he got for that be a resounding goodbye.

 

Jared suggested that they go out on the town and pull random girls and get them to sell the story. Jensen decided that he should finish filming a day in the life VT for the weekday show. It would show Jared living at his house but not with him and then clearly establish their lack of a relationship. A romantic relationship. They filmed Jared in bed pretending to be soundly asleep as Jensen headed off to rehearsals for his play and they filmed them together playing Xbox like gigantic children at the end of the day. After the camera crew had gone, Jared pulled Jensen into a hug and was glad that Jensen didn’t pull away.

 

He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised to get a call from Misha. “Nice to see you two lovebirds have decided to make a go of it.”

“What are you talking about?” Jared knew his former co-star could be a little strange. He’d read his Twitter. “Why are you calling?”

“Me and the wife are over in London this weekend for one of those signing events. Thought we could meet up.” Misha spent a lot of time doing conventions. He claimed to enjoy meeting people. Jared reckoned he liked the power of his minions doing what he asked.

On the other hand, meeting up would be fun. “Absolutely.”

Misha sounded a little ashamed when he spoke again. “The wife wants to know if we can get tickets to Jensen’s show.”

“I’ll ask Jen.”

 

Jensen pulled in a favour from the producers. Quarter finals week was a huge deal but they knew he’d happily given tickets from his allocation to other people to let their friends and relatives attend. He’d only used his for his parents and for Jared. Misha had arrived at the studio claiming he’d been too tired to meet Jared the night before.

He still looked exhausted as Jared gave him and his wife welcoming hugs. It felt good to be the one who knew where everything was, to be able to show them around. And to feed Misha a cup of coffee so black it might have been tar.

The show was amazing. Jensen had to perform two dances and even though his samba was a little awkward, his foxtrot blew everyone away. Misha laughed a little at Jared’s cheering but happily rose to his feet at the end of the routine. Jared was pleased to see the rest of the audience follow suit. Jensen was through another week at the top of the leader board.

The bar afterwards emptied quickly so Misha suggested that they head back to his hotel to catch up. His wife said goodnight as soon as they arrived and the three of them settled in the quiet bar.

Jared was aware of Misha watching him as he watched Jensen head to the bathrooms. “What?”

“Are you ever going to tell him?” Misha looked amused. Or drunk. Or tired. Sometimes it was hard to tell.

And Jared was getting quite tired of all the game playing. “Tell who what?”

“Jensen that you love him.” Misha took a long slug from the bottle in his hand as Jared floundered for an answer. “You can’t fool me. Something has changed between you pair. Besides, I saw you beaming like a proud lover when he got all those high scores. To be all romance novel about it.”

“We’re friends.” Jared knew he wasn’t denying Misha’s assertion. “That’s all.” Jensen was making his way back to their table. “Don’t tell him.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Misha said, his eyes sad and contemplative.

 

Jensen trained harder than ever that week. Jared became used to communicating via notes on the fridge and occasional meetings in the gym. Jensen would bring over his coffee and sit while Jared bench pressed or did sit ups. Then he would trot back into the dance studio and keep practising. Semi-finals meant he could do a dance he’d enjoyed. He chose the American Smooth, explaining to Jared that he thought the light-hearted music was entertaining and the lifts were crowd pleasers and it would contrast with the more serious Argentinean Tango. Jared had nodded and looked impressed as Jensen showed him a few of the moves.

Jared spent most of the time thinking about what Misha had said. He didn’t go out and explore as much, finding the occasional photographer a little hard to take. Instead he bought a pile of books and spent time reading and watching DVDs. His agent sent scripts for both US shows and UK shows. He ignored the US ones.

Late on the Wednesday night, Jared was sitting in the apartment with his novel when he heard the key scraping in the lock. Or scraping around the lock. He opened the door to find Jensen attempting to fit his key to the lock. He was swaying slightly. Jared pulled him indoors and closed the door firmly behind him.

Jensen leaned up against the wall beside the door and closed his eyes. Jared wondered if he was going to sleep there. “Jen?” he prodded.

Jensen flapped his hands at him then groaned. Jared decided that enough was enough. He unfastened Jensen’s coat and tugged it off when Jensen didn’t protest. He hung it up and tucked Jensen’s scarf and gloves in the pocket. Jensen still didn’t move. Then he knelt down and untied his boots, ordering Jensen to lift his feet one at a time to pull off the heavy shoes and the socks underneath. Jensen obeyed. He was still wearing his sweatpants and a hoodie from the gym and he smelled like he’d been working hard all day long.

Jared put his arm around his waist and led Jensen to the bathroom. Most of the time they just used the shower but Jared doubted Jensen could stand up long enough for that. He perched Jensen on the toilet and turned the taps. Jensen smiled sleepily at him as he raked under the sink and found a half empty bottle of bubble bath. It was a lurid purple but did claim to be a muscle relaxant. He tipped a good measure under the hot tap.

The bath was filling nicely and the room was starting to steam up. Jared trailed his hand in the water to check the temperature and turned back to Jensen. Jensen’s eyes were open and he watched Jared move around the space carefully. He still didn’t speak. Jared pulled at the waistband of the hoodie and Jensen obediently leaned forward and lifted his arms. His t-shirt came off too as Jared pulled it over his head. That left the sweatpants and Jensen’s underwear.

“Do you want me to...?” Jared gestured at the door. The bath was nearly full now and he turned off the taps.

“S’okay. Can you help me?” Jensen’s voice was soft and exhausted. Jared drew him to his feet by pulling on his arms and pushed the loose pants down as Jensen swayed unsteadily in the middle of the room. Then he slid Jensen’s boxers to join them. He tried not to let his hands touch Jensen’s bare skin but a certain amount was unavoidable. He knelt down to tug off the rest of Jensen’s clothes, studiously ignoring his nakedness. Even so, he felt a warm tug of arousal spread through his body as Jensen placed his hands on his shoulders to keep him upright as he stepped out of his clothes.

Jared helped Jensen balance as he climbed into the hot water, his nudity finally hid by the mounds of white bubbles. Jensen sighed gratefully as he sank into the warmth. Jared watched the blissful expression for a moment then gathered up Jensen’s clothes.

“Don’t go,” Jensen said, eyes closed. “I might fall asleep and drown.”

Jared paused at the doorway. “Let me grab some food and I’ll come back.”

Jensen raised his hand in acknowledgement and then let it drop back under the water. Jared dropped the clothes inside Jensen’s bedroom door and then raced to the kitchen. He pulled open the fridge door and stared inside. Some fruit and a cartoon of soup seemed to be the only thing that didn’t require much in the way of cooking. Looking at the weather, Jared grabbed the soup and poured it into a pan. He put the heat on low and grabbed a mug and a spoon from the cupboards then he pelted back into the bathroom.

Jensen had his head back on the edge of the bath but wasn’t breathing water yet. He turned towards Jared as he stood uncertainly in the doorway. “Soup okay?”

“Great.” Jensen still didn’t open his eyes. “I don’t have to move, right?”

Jared laid left the door open as he grabbed some towels from the cupboard Jensen stored them in. He sat them on the toilet and then returned to the kitchen. The soup was nicely warm as he poured it into the bowl and brought it through to the bathroom. He set it next to the sink and handed Jensen one of the towels to dry his hands before handing him down to him. He started to turn and leave when Jensen asked, “Stay and talk to me. Please?”

Jared couldn’t resist that. He shifted the towels onto the floor and perched on the toilet seat, then reached out a long leg to shut the bathroom door. Jensen slurped the soup gratefully while Jared thought about a neutral topic to start chatting.

Jensen was the one who began the conversation. “Don’t you miss the dogs?”

“A little,” Jared admitted, and then he went on to describe some of the crazy antics and people they’d scared back home. “I thought about bringing them over. If we stay here longer.”

Jensen coughed into his mostly empty soup bowl at that. “I thought you’d be going back home.”

“I’m not having that discussion with you now. Just eat your soup and we’ll go to bed and I promise you we can talk about it later.” Jared was firm with his commands and Jensen meekly drank the remainder of the soup down in one. He tried just holding out the towel but Jensen was still too exhausted to climb out of the bath on his own, so he ended up dragging him bodily out of the water and supporting him as he stepped out of the tub.

“I feel like such a baby,” Jensen mumbled, but he leaned on Jared as he ran another towel over his hair and face. Jared rubbed his hands up and down the outside of the huge towel now wrapped around Jensen’s body, trying to avoid letting his hands linger in any particular place too long. Jensen scraped his feet on the towel on the floor and then declared himself ready for bed. “That’ll do.”

Jared perhaps didn’t quite ignore Jensen’s bare body as much as he propelled him into the bed room and tugged his soft flannel pyjama pants from under the pillow. He pulled the stretched pants up and placed the soft worn t-shirt over Jensen’s still damp hair as he sat on the edge of the bed. Then Jensen collapsed gratefully onto the pillow, snuggling as Jared drew the duvet over his body.

Before he could leave, Jensen grabbed his hand and Jared willingly bent down to place his head near Jensen’s to hear him speak. But Jensen didn’t speak. Instead he cupped his hand around the back of Jared’s neck and drew his face ever closer before softly pressing his lips against his cheek. “Thanks for being here,” he whispered. Then he grazed his lips across Jared’s immobile mouth before letting his head and hands drop back to the bed.

He’d started to snore before Jared switched the light off and closed the door.

 

Jensen was gone in the morning by the time Jared got up. He’d sat with the television on late into the night, running possible conversations in his head. He was sure that Jensen meant something with the kiss. It wasn’t like he was completely out of it. Although he must have been fairly exhausted and maybe he thought he was just dreaming.

Jared gave up trying to work out what to say and headed to bed when the news programme turned into signed reruns of some nature programme. He really did not want to listen to anyone discuss mating habits even if they were of rather cute tree frogs.

 

The days blended together and it seemed no time at all before Jared was settling into his seat in the studio ready for the Saturday night show. He had been relegated to the second row for some reason, but he didn’t care. He still clapped as they recorded a performance for later broadcast happily enough. He still had a clear view of the floor as the four couples traipsed out for the start of the show. And he still couldn’t keep his eyes off Jensen in his tails as he stood towering over his tiny partner.

Jared noticed a tiny frown creasing Jensen’s forehead as they stood there. He was sweeping his eyes over the crowd in front of him. Jared raised his hands above his head and clapped loudly when the hosts started to introduce the first couple. The frown disappeared as Jensen caught sight of Jared. A shy smile unlike the broad grin he was known for crossed his face. And then it was time for them to scurry off the dance floor to make way for the first couple to dance.

Jared turned that over in his head as he automatically clapped his way through the other dancers. Jensen was last with his American Smooth. It came to Jared that Jensen had first danced that the first weekend he had come to the show, the first week he was in London. Jensen was much more skilled now, sliding from gliding across the dance floor into lifts and then back into elegant moves. Jared felt his eyes glued once more to his friend.

When Jensen finished his routine, he stood panting for a long moment before helping his partner to her feet. He hugged her but over her shoulder his eyes sought out Jared. That soft, small smile reappeared for an instant before he was dragged over to hear the (mostly complimentary) judges’ comments. Jared knew then that the smile was just for him. He may have wolf-whistled when Jensen ran offstage to the room the dancers had to stay in between performances.

The other performances were a blur until Jared sat on the edge of his seat to watch Jensen become the epitome of an arrogant Argentinean gaucho straight off the Pampas, as one of the judges had characterised the dance. He grinned as he recognised Dean Winchester’s swagger in the way Jensen tossed his head but the grin soon vanished as Jensen stamped and strutted and moved like silk over the floor. Jared found himself biting at his lip and leaning forward so as not to miss a single moment.

Ninety seconds were not long enough. Jared reckoned he could have watched this confident, skilled Jensen all night long. Then his mind supplied an image of what else he could do with a confident, skilled Jensen who knew exactly how to move his hips. Jared was suddenly glad to be in the second row as he felt his cock fill. He tugged his shirt down and hoped no one would notice his sudden boner. He still rose to his feet when Jensen finished.

Jared fidgeted in his seat until they were allowed out of their seats and back to the waiting room. He ducked around and asked if he could go see Jensen but the PA told him firmly that it wasn’t allowed. One of the roving camera crews caught him and asked him to do a quick interview segment for the later results show and he happily obliged, praising Jensen and his partner to high heaven. Then instead of returning to his seat, he headed for the nearest bathroom.

The rush had come and gone as he locked himself in a stall in the empty room and drew his cell out of his pocket and switched it on. He stared at it a moment, wondering if he should call Jensen and was startled when it vibrated. Jensen was calling him.

“I was just about to call you,” Jared said as he answered the call.

“I thought I’d get your voicemail,” said Jensen, voice clashing.

Jared took a deep breath. “You were amazing. I just wanted to tell you that.”

“I was worried when I couldn’t see you in the crowd,” Jensen admitted after a moment’s silence. “I really like you being there.”

“I like being there.” Jared felt like a teenage kid talking to his first crush. Which in some ways this was, being as it was the first time he’d seriously crushed on a guy and being as he had popped an inappropriate boner, something he thought he’d left behind as teenager. Or in his early twenties. Or something.

He heard an announcement over the loudspeakers asking the audience to return. “They want us to go back. Listen. I’ll speak to you later. I just wanted to say...” He knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to follow Misha’s advice but now was not the time. “Just good luck. Just that.”

“Thanks. They’re calling me too.” Jensen didn’t say goodbye and Jared could hear him breathing on the other end of the phone. “One of us has to hang up here.”

Jared laughed and said, “You first.” Yup. Kid with a crush. Jensen softly said his goodbye then and hung up. Jared hurried out of the bathroom and headed back to the studio.

 

These reality shows really knew how to draw out every minute. Jared sat through a performance by the cast of a West End musical he resolved never to go and see as well as a performance by a couple of contortionists. He would cheerfully admit later that he really wasn’t paying attention, lost again in his own thoughts. Finally they arrived at the “moment of truth” as the blonde host kept saying. Two couples moved to the finals straight away, leaving Jensen and another couple standing still under the harsh spotlights. Jared’s breath caught uncomfortably. He knew that the show would draw this out almost cruelly and for a moment he couldn’t stand it.

They called out the other couple’s names. It took a moment for this to really penetrate Jared’s mind. The other couple were through to the final. That meant that Jensen wasn’t. That meant that Jensen was out of the competition. Jared felt a lump in his throat as he watched Jensen shake hands with the others and receive hugs before making his way over to stand by the two hosts.

Jared listened carefully as Jensen’s partner said what a marvellous partner he’d been and what a wonderful person he was. The audience clapped and cheered. Then Jensen spoke.

He thanked his partner, he thanked the public for voting, he thanked the show for inviting him over. He thanked his family for the support they’d given. Then Jared had to blink in surprise. “I’d like to thank Jared,” Jensen said, glancing around to look directly at him. “For being my rock. Love you, man.”

The audience went wild. Jared numbly followed them in standing and applauding Jensen’s final turn on the dance floor as the show wound down. Then he had to sit back down before he collapsed and wait as they emptied out the studio. As one of the PAs tugged his arm, he came out of his daze. It was the one he’d asked to let him behind the scenes earlier.

“Mr Ackles is asking if you’ll come see him,” the woman said, tugging at his arm. “And the crew needs to start clearing up.”

Jared looked around to see that most of the audience had left. “Of course.”

He followed her into the warren of corridors behind the studio, keeping his head down and ignoring the looks he could feel from the people he passed. He tried a few of the conversations he’d composed in front of the TV and over the past few days but nothing seemed to fit. All too quickly he was at Jensen’s door. The PA knocked and he was left standing staring into deep green eyes.

Jensen stepped back to let him into the room and he followed, drawn by Jensen’s small, tentative smile. It was only when Jensen turned away to shut the door that he realised that all Jensen was wearing was his jeans. His brain stuttered over that for a few moments before he realised he was staring and staring was rude and he looked up to see Jensen watching him carefully.

“Sorry,” Jared said. Then his brain started to work again. “Are you ok? You should never have gone. I don’t know what the public were thinking.”

“It’s fine. I’m disappointed for the Devil Woman. I think she really thought she could win with me.” Jensen didn’t stop staring at Jared. And he was still smiling that shy smile. “So. Apparently Misha Collins has both our numbers.”

“In his cell? Why wouldn’t he?” Jared was definitely confused as to why Jensen was suddenly bringing up Misha.

“And apparently he also knows us better than we know ourselves.” Jensen shifted his body as if he wanted to step closer to Jared.

“He said he wouldn’t tell you.” Jared knew he sounded like that teenager again, but what was new this evening.

“I knew. I just didn’t know how to... How to tell you.” Jensen brought his hand up to rub at the back of his neck. “I hoped you might get the hint when I kissed you.”

Jared stepped forward then to draw the hand down. He took a deep breath when he realised how close he was to Jensen. The smell of make-up remover and sweat and something he could only identify as Jensen flooded his senses. “That wasn’t really a kiss.”

“Shut up,” Jensen said, reaching his hand out to slap Jared’s arm. He didn’t. He let the hand drop on Jared’s shoulder and pulled his head closer. There wasn’t that much difference in their heights and Jared found he didn’t need to crane his neck far to press his lips to Jensen’s eager, waiting ones.

This was really a kiss. Jared couldn’t help but let one of his hands stroke up Jensen’s back when Jensen tightened his fingers in his hair. He opened his mouth to let Jensen’s tongue slip past his lips and a sound that was probably a moan sounded deep in his chest.

Jared was the one to break the kiss. He stepped back a moment, to let his lungs remember how to breathe again and then looked at Jensen. That smile was back again and it required a lot of Jared’s self-control not to kiss it again. It wouldn’t do to let himself be carried away in a dingy dressing room. Not that he didn’t doubt that other people had probably not been so resolute. “So do you think we should head to the bar?”

Jensen considered. “It would be odd not to.”

“You mean that they’d think we were doing exactly what we’re doing.” Jared grinned happily at the prospect. Then his face fell. “You told the world you loved me on television.” The enormity of the situation hit.

Jensen reached for a shirt. “I can explain it all as being really good friends on Monday. On the weeknight show.” He shrugged, but Jared could see the tension bunching his shoulders as he pulled the shirt on and started buttoning it.

Jared thought about it for a moment. Then he realised that he didn’t care. “Or maybe you should tell the delightful Claudia that you can barely walk because your boyfriend fucked you into the mattress all weekend.”

Jensen’s head came up. “Boyfriend?”

“That’s the bit you focus on.” Jared took a deep breath. Jensen hadn’t said he objected to the plan either. That required another steadying breath. Then he stepped closer to Jensen and wrapped his arms around him. “I love you. By god, I want you. And I don’t want to hide you.”

This time the kiss was broken by a frantic pounding at the door. “Coming to the bar, Jensen?”

Jensen grinned at Jared who looked at him with a questioning look in his eyes. Jensen nudged his cheek gently with his nose before leaning back and shouting, “Just for one. I’ve really got to get home as soon as I can.” His voice dropped to low growl. “So my boyfriend can get started on something we’ve waited too long to begin.”

Jared completely agreed with that.


End file.
